7 Life Lessons To Understand

Over the past few years, I’ve come across a number of problems as well as opportunities. I have come across a number of things that I have won as well as lost, partially due to my attitude and mentality towards a number of things. The ride to happiness or success isn’t necessarily the easiest ride and it was something I always knew from young. Whilst on the road to my destination, there are a few things that I have learnt over the years which have impacted how I achieve a certain success or maintain a healthy relationship with others as well as myself. Something I want to share with you are some of the “laws” that I go by, which I have curated myself and have helped me a lot in order to improve myself. As I grow older, more shall appear but as of now, here are some lessons I have learnt and want to share with you.

1) Just Do It

Growing up as a teenager with an interest in music and drama, I was always told by my teachers that if you wanted to learn or do something, you just go ahead and do it. It sounds pretty simple. That’s because it is. And I’m sure I will get some people who will think “it’s easier said than done”, but it’s also easier to leave it and procrastinate than to initiate the first move towards it. With all the resources around us nowadays, anything is possible and you don’t necessarily need formal training to achieve whatever it is that you want. You don’t need a gym membership to start losing weight, although it helps. Start with what’s around you. Do stretches, push-ups, sit-ups all within the comfort of your home. Do you want to be a photographer but haven’t got the money to invest in one? See if there’s anyone in your circle who has a camera you can use and learn from them, save and then when the time is right, buy one. Why wait? One of my favourite sportswear companies, Nike, simply said it the best. No excuses. No ifs. No buts. If you want it that bad, just do it. Do what it takes to get it.

2) Share Your Knowledge

Imagine you have storage device that contains anything that you’d like on it. Or even better, imagine you were given a storage device by a friend who has given you the only digital copy of something you’ve always wanted. Whether it be a collection of films or music or documents or anything that you would like to imagine. You then get home to use it and guess what? It dies. That is sort of like life itself in this context.

There are so many people who acquire knowledge but only a few of them who share these things. As somebody who has struggled with a number of things, I have found my own solutions of making things happen that you don’t hear many people talk about. And because of this, I have the tendency to share tips in order to help those that truly deserve it. What use is it if we hold onto key information and then die afterwards without passing it on? Share before it’s too late. Perhaps not everything, but share with those who you know can further take your information and build something great.

3) Live Like A Human

The world is obsessed with being immortal beings who feel no pain, who never sheds a tear or show any emotions. The world is filled with wannabe cyborgs who seem to never make mistakes. Last time I checked, flaws and mistakes are what makes us human. Sure, nobody wants to experience pain and sorrow. But with pain and sorrow comes stories worth sharing. They are experiences that better us for the future. Nobody is perfect and if we were to be perfect from the womb to the tomb, imagine how much of a cyborg one would be if they never had a moment where they have felt pain or have made a mistake and failed. Dr. Dre, one of Hip-Hop’s most successful artists, shared a line on his collaborative song with Mary J. Blige entitled ‘The Message‘. The line said,

“I’m anxious to believe in real G’s don’t cry, If that’s the truth, then I’m realising I ain’t no gangsta,”

Real people feel emotions. Many of us conceal it but the truth is that we all feel it. Feeling emotions and making mistakes are the most natural things a human can feel.

4) Hate is Unnecessary – Scrap It

I’m a firm believer in the law of attraction. The input is the output. You reap what you sow. If you’ve ever read or watched the film, ‘The Secret’, you would understand the ideology of what you think of and hold onto is what you will attract. If you hold onto negative things, you will receive negative things. Your thoughts and aura can attract and repel people without you being aware of it. People can sense these things and would rather distance themselves from a person with a rotting and draining vibe than to affiliate with them. Auras can cross-contaminate from one another, leaving a mark on other people it has touched.

The best thing to do is to let go of this hate is to change your mindset. If you hate something because you were taught to and have no real valid reason to do so, then evaluate who or what taught you to hate it and figure out why. When you come down to the root of it, you will realise that hate is time and energy-consuming. You would’ve wasted a fraction or your entire life on holding onto what restricts you. If anything, hate may just be seen as a form of mental and emotional slavery. Hate is a prison itself, free yourself from it.

5) Listen to Your Heart

Often, we tend to make decisions with our brain, and there’s nothing wrong with that… well sometimes. Often not, we take time to listen to that little voice embedded deep within us. That voice is the heart. I came across a quote (unfortunately I can’t remember who said it and what they said exactly) which said that from a young age, we listen to our heart and do what we want to do. As young children, we take risks and are aware that we can settle for less and do nothing. But that’s boring, right? So as we grow up, we begin to lose the voice of the child that we once were and start adopting our parent’s voice; the voice that says, “that’s too risky”, “it’s not stable”, “stick to something safe”, “it’s not going to work”, “not many people make it” etc.. Bare this in mind: those that take risks in life are those that are more likely to succeed.

I also read up on some interesting information that some companies out there admire risk-takers and are more likely to fire someone if they don’t take the initiative and take that risk. That itself is a failure. To make mistakes in the company was not a concern as it’s a part of the learning process towards success. Name someone who you look up to and think about what made them so successful. The reason why they were so successful is likely to be a risk; it could be a sacrifice made in order to achieve. It could be the hours and money spent on making a dream come true. Mediocre people who play it safe never last long. They stick to that same lane that they race in, running at the same speed and never push themselves harder, yet expect different results. Pay attention to the voice that lies deep within you. That voice may just alter your life if you listen to it and take action. That voice is the true you.

6) Consistency is Key

Everything in this world is temporary. Failure is temporary, but so is success. The key to maintaining that success is consistency. If you work out at the gym, you want to reach your target goal. Once you’ve reached it, you don’t just cancel your gym membership and hand everything in. You keep going. If you’re at the level you wanted, you maintain it or you can keep pushing to go high and do better. Most people get too comfortable with something and then start producing less work and less work until the work becomes minimal. But in their minds, something is telling them that they have already achieved it and there is nothing more for them to do.

Using the context of gym and working out, don’t give up and don’t you dare give up too early. Do not get comfortable with what you’ve achieved within a month when you still have several months worth of work to go. Keep going and always remember that you are one step closer to the target (Read my article for HowItStarted.co.uk entitled ‘Making It & Getting Too Comfortable‘).

7) Breathe for Yourself

If we can breathe for ourselves, we should think for ourselves. You own your body. You own everything inside of you. You own your heart, you should own your soul and you should definitely own your mind. Make your own decisions.

Here’s a little story: I was working in retail as a sales assistant a few years ago and I had a customer ask me about some denim clothing that he was looking for. I guided him to the correct section, pointed at the item and he told me that he likes what he saw however he mentioned that he will be returning later on. So the customer returned as promised and this time he has the company of his friends. He approaches me and asks for the items he saw earlier. I gave it to him. At this point, he showed positive signs of closing the sale but then he turned around to his friends and asked what they thought of the clothes. The guys responded, negatively influencing his decisions. With the face of disappointment and something signalling me that he wanted to fit in and impress his friends, he put down the items and left the store. One of my favourite first-hand examples of not making decisions for yourself.

Never let somebody influence your decisions to the point where you don’t like it because of them. If you like it, you like it. Simple. If you decide to get a tattoo (for example) of a butterfly and you genuinely want it, don’t let others tell you that it’s a crap and that you should get a star instead. Because at the end of the day, it is YOUR skin, not theirs. And it’s YOUR own mind, not theirs. So think for yourself. If you can breathe for yourself, you can think for yourself.

Those are seven lessons I have learned that I want to share. Is there anything that life taught you which was missing from the list? Share your thoughts in the comment section below or tweet me at @GodOfBlaque with your life lessons.